How Much Should A Person Take?

The casual relationship is more likely to end when you are cursed at.  Close friends that you've shared a relationship with for many years are more likely to produce some high-powered fireworks, but potentially the relationship continues.  There might be a few weeks you don't speak to them.  Now, family, oh that can be really bad.  We can choose our friends and businesses we frequent, but we do not get to choose family.  Gatherings will be difficult to say the least.  The question though is when is it just too much?

If you continually allow people to never apologize and they continually harm you in actions or words, are you the one to blame?  Should you walk away?  Should you continue turning the other cheek, always to be wounded in the end?  When does that "sorry" become not good enough anymore?  If they even offer it.  How much do you take?  How many years?  How many decades?  How much hurt do you allow?  Is it worth allowing it?  It hurts either way.  If you continue in the relationship it will continue to be the way it is.  If you walk away the pain of that loss will be with you always.  When is it time to say enough?  Their affection is conditional.  You must always do what they want or else. So, you continue sucking it up and pushing forward to the best of your abilities.

Some people take the passive aggressive approach.  They will move thousands of miles away to escape the potential problem.  They don't call.  They don't visit.  They predominantly avoid contact. They limit their conversation in an attempt to remain free from condemnation and attack.  Their moves are most certainly calculated to avoid issue.

There are those that continue as if nothing has happened.  They literally suck it up and try to be who the other person wants them to be. They live as openly as possible in an attempt to avoid accusation of being spiteful or deceitful.  They are the people pleasers.  Trying so hard to remain in the good graces of those they love.  They constantly over analyze while watching over their shoulder for the impending knife.

Then there are those that choose to walk away.  They forgive and truly forget.  They decide they want to be free from this type of relationship.  They pick up their self-worth, dust it off, and walk off like a boss.  It's hard ending relationships, but sometimes it's truly for the best.  Some people are strong like that.  They can take their two kids and simply walk away. 

I say all this only to say, you are worth more than allowing people to continue hurting you.  Whether you take the path of passive aggressive or walk away like a boss, you cannot live a life allowing others to belittle you or your children!  Some people are just mean.  They claim they don't see it, but either way, they're mean.  People that love you will not curse, belittle, or hurt you.  If they do those things, know they don't love you.  Most importantly know that they don't love you because they don't know how.  It has nothing to do with you or who you are.  They don't know what love is.  So for them, I offer this...

"Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves."               1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV

When Sorry Just Isn't Good Enough Anymore

If you don't live on an isolated island, you've experienced a rotten relationship.  Don't trip over the word relationship.  This doesn't mean "romantic" relationship.  Relationships come in all shapes and sizes.  Sometimes it's the relationship you have with a co-worker, other times it could be the cashier at your local grocery store.  All of these relationships have the potential to be good, bad, or indifferent.

There are shop owners that you love so much they seem to be part of your family.  There are friends that you think of as cousins.  All of these people have some form of relationship with you.  So, what happens when they continually do or say things that hurt you?  Do you completely cut them off because their "I'm sorry" just ain't cuttin' it anymore?  Or do you continue to forgive and forget?  How far do you let them go?